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Let’s just make this clear as we get started – When you hurt, you hurt. It doesn’t matter if anyone else thinks your hurt is valid. You know what you feel.

So how do you truly let past hurts become water under the bridge? In other words, how do you let it go to the point that it no longer affects your life in a negative way?

Let me offer some help to get you moving in this direction. The information remains true whether the hurt was produced in a marriage, a friendship, from family or a perfect stranger.

Admit that it still hurts.

Check to see if you have a cover-up game going on; pretending you are not bothered and that everything is okay.  If it hurts it’s okay to admit it.

It’s like locating yourself on a map and saying, “I am here”. I am in a place of hurt in this area of life.

Once you have located where you are, you can make a plan to step out from that location.

Make the decision to release the pain.

You must make the decision to release the pain. Why? Because it is hard to get rid of something that you really want to hold on it. For some folks, a state of misery has become a way of life. Making the decision to release the hurt will require you to monitor your thought life because your thought life feeds yours emotions.

Say it out loud, “I release the hurt, pain, shame, guilt and embarrassment inflicted on me when ______________ (insert person’s name) did _______________. I no longer give this situation power over me.” Be very specific. Then feel the weight being lifted.

Forgive yourself and become the Victor, not the Victim.

Don’t blame yourself for still being angry, hurt, or disappointed. Placing blame just aggravates the situation that much more.

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3 Soul Cleansing Ways to Truly Forgive And Move On  was originally published on