Have you ever had a moment where you feel like you made up a situation entirely in your mind? Perhaps in an interaction with someone, you took a comment or glance the wrong way and let preconceived notions get in the way of what was really happening. This often is what happens to me in the morning, especially if I am running late and I misinterpret what someone says. In the end, all you might need is perspective on the situation and to exercise some honesty in order to get your facts straight. The worst thing that you can take from this lesson in communication is that your gut feeling is inaccurate and that you can’t judge the feelings of others on your own.
I know that I have definitely had these confusing moments in my own life, usually due to sleep deprivation or a lack of knowledge of how the other person thinks. It’s important to remember, though, you never truly know what is going on in someone’s mind unless you ask them personally. Maybe the look you think they gave you was really meant for someone they argued with earlier and they weren’t even thinking of you at the time. It is hard to know this type of information unless you are a mind-reader (which most people aren’t), but it’s worth it to explore all possibilities of the issue involved! You never really know what someone else intended with their body language or words, especially if their motives are something they normally keep private. Keeping an open mind and being prepared for the truth might be difficult, but in the long run, being honest in how you feel is a mature policy to hold!
Usually, the reason assumptions happen is because the angle you had been looking at the situation from was flawed. You often only see what you want to see, depending on your relationship with the other person and how close you are to them. If you want to see the best in them, you often ignore anything that might shed a bad light on their character. Perhaps you make connections that are not there just so you can mold your own version of the truth. It can be hard to actually talk to the person, especially if it is a difficult conversation or you could come off defensive, but a lot of times, the best connections are actually made when you are personally open with others.
Friendships can be solidified when honesty is a core value and motivations are not kept hidden. If you make your own assumptions of why something occurred, you might end up imagining an entire problem that never really existed! Keep conversation lines open and listento the other person’s side of the story in order to avoid any misunderstandings with others, especially if you haven’t known each other for that long.
Sometimes, you may not even realize when you are making your own assumptions about situations. There might be a mental block on your perceptions of a specific person or you just don’t want to deal with the problems that you might be witnessing. Be brave and speak your mind, even if you are nervous or don’t know exactly what you want to say. People will respect you more if you are honest and don’t withhold your qualms, even if you are afraid of confrontation. Be the strong, independent person you are and meet issues head-on. If the other person is truly respectful of you, a bit of honesty and problem-solving can only strengthen your bond! While every situation is different, judging the air of communication between you two and the way the friendship is going is definitely a smart plan when confronted with a problem. Just be strong in your assertions and make sure you have all of the facts before jumping in!